Things I've Gotten Away With While Pregnant

Forgetting people’s names. Including people I’ve known for at least ten years
In fact, forgetting anything for that matter. Sometimes I’ll write down important dates. Most of the time, I forget to look at the date book.

Being a flake. Now I actually feel bad for canceling dates, and appointments, but because of the afore-mentioned catatonia that grabs me when I least expect it, or just the all-out desire to nest in my room, I can get out of a lot of stuff. Blame it in the hormones.

Refusing to eat things that look, smell or sound revolting. I work for a Marketing company, and at one point everyone in the office was encouraged to try our client’s latest drink—a combination of Clamato(that’s tomato and clam juice) and Budweiser. This drink is highly popular in the south of the border set, but even my desire for weird food combinations does not extend to juiced clam and tomatoes .Thank goodness the alcoholic content gave me a reason to “sadly” decline. I swear I wanted to fall out laughing while watching my colleagues each take a swig and fight the urge to spit the drink back in their cups while expressing that “mmmm” tone reserved for foods that are actually good.


Crying, yelling, and laughing uncontrollably…..respectively in a five-minute period or all at the same time. I blame it on the hormones.

Going to the front of a really long bathroom line. The other day I walked up to a woman standing at the front of a ridiculously long line at Starbucks and told her my baby was sitting on my bladder, and that I don’t think I could take the pressure anymore. I probably could have waited another two or three people before begging a place at the front, but why wait if you don’t have to?

Waking my significant other up at 2:30 in the morning for any reason I like. I tend not to have night cravings that involve food, I usually wake him up for booty . this he loves or to talk, this he doesn’t love. But I’m usually telling him something that I’d wanted to say at 7:30pm but forgot about and know that I won’t remember by 7:30 am.


Being unreasonable. When you’re pregnant, people kind of expect you to be irrational and if they don’t expect it, they’ll eventually come to blame it on the hormones. I once saw this pregnant lady at Cosi order a salad. After telling him everything she wanted on it, and he put all those things in the Cosi salad dish, she asked for Oil and Vinegar dressing. Apparently they didn't have it. She was so mad she said she didn't want the salad anymore and asked him to make her a sandwich. Just as he was making the sandwich, she asked if he would just give her the salad. I don't think I've been that bad yet, but why not fulfill my potential for unreasonableness?


Not answering my phone after ten o’clock. I love my friends. I love hearing the latest stories (gossip) et al. But after ten, I’m barely able to watch the news much less listen to the latest testosterone-induced tragedy. I have my own testosterone-induced issues to deal with.